Daring Sex Moves You Should Think Twice Before Attempting

Sex should feel good. It’s really a simple enough act. You get aroused, your partner gets aroused, you “stick the key into the ignition” and you get rolling. But some people just can’t help but push themselves over edge. They want to up the risk factor. Whether they should, however, is the real question… Keep reading to discover some daring sex moves you should think twice before attempting, no matter how turned on you may be.

 

Not cute, ma’am. Sex should be fun, even when it gets a bit rough. What it shouldn’t turn into, though, is straight up violence. One user on Thought Catalog wrote, “She punched me in the f**king head when I told her I was going to come. Like she straight up punched me on the side of the head. Who the f**k does that?” To answer the question: not normal people.

 

The Lawnmower. Imagine a push lawnmower. Now imagine that the woman is the lawnmower. One wrong step and this situation is not going to end very well. Maybe opt for more of a sit-down lawnmower and see where that gets you. Surely, it won’t be in the hospital.

 

Stay neat. It’s not necessary to shave off every single pubic hair, but giving yourself a trim every now and then won’t hurt. In fact, not trimming may hurt. “He had so much testosterone that he was very hairy down there and considered it unmanly to shave any of it off. Second problem: I was wearing braces. His pubes got caught in my braces. He had to pretty much hop over to my dresser, with my mouth attached to him, to get some scissors and cut me loose.” This isn’t a situation anyone should have to suffer through.

 

Sandbox sex. People can be slightly cray-cray. Case in point, this Reddit user: “I did this too. In the sand box. During the Canada celebration in Ottawa. Some dudes actually walked by and poured a shot in my mouth while I was banging my GF doggy style. No clue how I got away with that.” The situation isn’t what seems risky, but the sand sure as hell does. There are places that sand should not enter, but when it’s included in sex, that isn’t going to be very possible…

 

The Suspended Scissors. When you’ve got to hold up your mate and straddle them and insert your penis inside of them, you may as well do it on the edge of a cliff, because the risk factor is already in the extreme zone. Not only is the man balancing and using all of his strength, the woman is balancing, too — and with one arm! Be careful, people.

 

Hail to the Chief. Sex shouldn’t mess up your back. If it does, you’re doing it wrong. According to cracked.com, Kama Sutra has another position called The Suspended Congress, and it’s as difficult as Congress itself seems to be. This position essentially consists of holding the female whilst leaning against the wall with her legs and arms wrapped around the man. It’s going to break your back. Just leave it alone and move on.

 

The London Bridge. College Times compiled some sex positions from Kamasutra, highlighting the not-too-safe ones. If you can imagine a man doing the staircase spider crawl from “The Exorcist,” while the woman rides him like a horse, then you’ve got yourself the London Bridge. If anyone reaches climax in this position, the man is certainly going to break his back. Might as well go out with a bang, eh?

 

Quirky and corky. Don’t spin your penis around in a woman’s vagina. It’s no bueno. But it’s a thing that people do, and it’s called The Turning Position. Basically, the penis is the corkscrew and the vagina is the cork… Imagine it, and then swipe it from your memory. You’ll be better off.

Potential zombie apocalypse sex. Maybe the least sexy place one can have sex is a cemetery. It’s not cute. To add danger to the mix, having sex in a tree isn’t really going to make the night any less discomforting. “In a tree. In a cemetery. I gothed SO HARD back then.” Pride comes before the fall — and this gentleman was clearly named Pride.

Enough with the rough. When it comes to sex, intensity should have its limits. Clearly, this guy didn’t. “I had a boyfriend who would f**k me hard — like, he didn’t know any other way. Sometimes it was so hard I wanted to get out of the way. We’d been seeing each other for a couple months when I started to get what felt like abdominal cramps, so I went to see my doctor. They weren’t abdominal cramps — my boyfriend had f***ed me so hard he had dislocated my pelvis.”

Squatters. Before you engage in a random hookup, make sure that the consequences won’t end in illegal ramifications. BuzzFeed had its users reach out to them and share their horror stories — this is what they came up with: “I went home with a guy I had met at a concert. He seemed cool enough at first, and though he said he forgot his apartment keys someone buzzed us up anyway so I figured it was normal. After we started hooking up, someone knocked on the door super loudly. He just gave me a weird laugh and said, ‘Yeah, we have to go, I don’t actually live here.’ Quickest I’ve ever gotten dressed, and needless to say I never spoke to him again!”

Urine trouble. Is there such thing as “too much?” Indeed there is. Take into account this situation: “I asked my then-girlfriend to tie me up and tickle my feet while roleplaying as slave and master. She gagged me and tickled my feet until I ended up pissing myself. That wasn’t cool.” If you want to have your feet tickled, pee beforehand. Everyone knows that.

Party animals. Some peopler take sex too far, as was the case with some personal stories on Thought Catalog. One user wrote about his experience with a girl and how “she dove into her purse and took out these mardi gras beads. Wrapped them around my neck and started choking me lightly. She was on top and kind of had me pinned, easily could’ve choked me to death.”

The loving feeling. Sometimes risky sex can’t be avoided — especially when you’re not particularly sure what’s going on. “I was fucking my girlfriend missionary-style (I’m Catholic), and she started shaking particularly hard. I assumed she was having a strong orgasm. I assumed wrong. She was having a seizure.” Maybe this side effect should have been discussed prior to sex.

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