Sex drives are hard to understand and even harder to control. One day, your libido is insatiable and you can’t get sex off your mind. The next, you’re disgusted by the very idea of kissing someone. Humans are confusing like that. And while most men can restart the fire by searching the Internet for adult films, many women struggle to find something that satisfies in the same way. Desire is weird! But new research suggests an unlikely solution—your bookshelf! Reading is actually sexy, according to science. Here’s how you can repair your sex life with the help of erotica.
Has erotic literature helped you get in the mood? Tell us your stories in the comments!
Books are the best sex toy. According to Dr. Susan Kellogg, a medical sexologist, nothing promotes sexual behavior and satisfaction quite like reading a book. This approach, known as bibliotherapy, has the ability to heal patients through the reading of texts. Sexy texts, in this case.
How it works. Kellogg mainly performs research on women. She claims that women are more easily aroused if they have constant access to a “library” of images and associations. Reading erotic literature builds this library so that a woman can “check out” an exciting passage whenever they need to get in the mood.
Read for your health. In addition to the sexual benefits of reading, Kellogg notes that bibliotherapy also has general psychological perks. Research suggests that actively fantasizing releases chemicals like dopamine and testosterone, which promote happiness.
Why only women? Men tend to think more frequently and spontaneously about sex than women do. Men can more easily become aroused through their vision, while women need to access their emotional memory and feelings to feel turned on. Books can expand memory and offer women more pathways to arousal. Only some men can get the same effect from a book.
It’s better than adult films. Most women can’t relate to watching a hairless, glistening model with a tiny waist and huge breasts. Writers of erotica generally omit physical details about the characters’ appearances. Instead, they focus on emotional relationships and situations. This makes it easier for female readers to insert themselves in the scenario.
Books are safe. If you’re trying to repair your libido, you probably want to do so in a safe space. Women can’t feel aroused if they are inhibited. Finding that right balance of familiarity and boundaries is hard to do, but books make it easy. Anyone can pick up a book at their leisure and read it on their own time.
Erotica is sex-positive. Sometimes your sex drive suffers because of fear. Sex is all around us, but it comes with a contradictory amount of shame. Reading erotica affirms the importance of sexuality. It shows readers that there is enough of a demand for erotica that it doesn’t have to feel shameful.
How to use your new toy. Dr. Kellogg prescribes her patients three 20-minute reading sessions a week. She recommends erotic fiction and stories, rather than sex manuals or instructional guides. Explicit instructions can be a little too clinical for most people.
You have so many options. There’s tons of erotica written by women, for women. If that’s your bag, try out the “Herotica” series. But many females prefer a male voice. “The Penthouse Collection” offers that masculine perspective that some women love.
You can go back in time. Erotica is as old as sin (pun intended). You can find erotic literature from just about any place and any era. Lots of famous writers have erotica that you don’t even know about, like Shakespeare’s poem Venus and Adonis. Lots of old erotica even goes into fetishes and kink. Imagine that!
Don’t forget about the bodice-rippers. Romance novels have a reputation as poorly written smut meant for the grocery store checkout aisle. But lots of women found them to be effective in reigniting their fire. Harlequin romances appeal to readers who don’t like explicit language, but get down with a good historical scenario.
It’s OK to help yourself out. When reading erotica, sometimes it’s important to assist yourself. You get the picture.
You can avoid sex shops! For years, spicing things up in the bedroom meant you had to visit your local sex store. Now you can avoid the awkwardness of seeing people you know by shopping at regular bookstores or online marketplaces!
Explore your own bookshelf! Flip through some of those old paperbacks that have been gathering dust. You may be surprised by the potency of your own collection.
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