More and more ladies are choosing to explore threesomes. Whatever the reason for the curiosity, sometimes the only thing putting a damper on a woman’s wildest fantasies is her significant other’s hesitation. Such men just need that extra little push, and below, we sneakily concocted some ways to make that happen.
Make a joke. Start by bringing it up as a playful joke, and see what his initial reaction is. If his pupils grow to the size of a marble, he might not need any convincing.
Slowly ease it into casual conversation. Mention your desire in an offhand way during dinner or while grocery shopping. Bringing it up while doing such a leisurely activity makes it seem like you’ve just asked him to do something as normal as pass you the salt or pick up extra toilet paper.
Reassurance. Remind him that it’s strictly sex and there is no emotional connection between you and the “special guest.” At the end of the night, you only want to cuddle with one person.
Abort! Abort! Let him know that if he feels uncomfortable at any point, he can pull the plug on the situation without repercussions. You can even pick a safe word to use as a code should you want to shut it down.
Establish boundaries. Set clear rules that you can both agree on. Figure out what will and won’t work. Don’t leave any surprises to work themselves out when you’re in the bedroom.
Be patient. Don’t expect him to make up his mind overnight, especially when it comes to something that he’s not 100 percent sure of from the beginning. Being pushy is only going to strengthen his resistance to the idea.
Ask him when you’re already in the act. If he’s already aroused, your chances of getting a “yes” out of him might be better. Sneaky move? All’s fair in love and war.
Give him control. Let him be the one to choose the guy, and more importantly, stay away form his friends.
Do it while on vacation. Is there a safer method than picking a third party who lives on a different continent? If things don’t exactly go as planned, you won’t have to see that person every again (unless you videotaped it).
Let it be spontaneous. Look, there are only so many contingencies to plan for in something like this. Take care of the logistical problems like who goes where and who can touch what. After that, let it go and enjoy the experience. Don’t try to choreograph it.
Don’t force it. If you bring it up and he seems really adamant about not wanting to do it, let it go and bring it up at another time. Not five minutes later.
In case of emergency… Talk about the worst case scenarios and any of his concerns. Then try to find a solution for them.
Ask around. Talk to other people who have gone through this experience, and get answers to any questions he might have. Don’t rely on internet forums for solid advice; that’s where crazy goes to breed.
Most importantly, don’t get angry. This could take a serious toll on the future of your relationship. You know how it feels when a guy tries to pressure you into doing something you’d rather not do. Don’t be that guy. Try to respect your partner’s wishes.
Take a class together. The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles teaches a class called “Negotiating Successful Threesomes.” They’ll teach you and your partner the do’s and don’ts of threesomes. Turning to an expert may be the best way to assuage your partner’s fears and undertake a new experience together.
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