If You Have One Of These 4 Types Of Penises, You Are Perfectly Normal

Calm down! As a raging homosexual, I’ve seen lots of umm…dickheads in my life (pun intended). And even though they all look the same to me, there have been times where I was like… “Dayum that is WAY too thick…” or “THAT thing is definitely going to give me a locked jaw!”. Well, we can talk about my adventures in Dickland some other time. Right now, the elephant in the room is this ONE research that indicates that men—around the world—majorly have ONLY four types of penises. Well, I know that this information can be a hard pill to swallow—especially when you’ve considered your gift as the greatest boon to mankind. So, rejoice if your penis is on the list. And, if it is not, maybe it’s time to have a heart-to-heart with your folks and talk about life at large.

Let’s Discuss…

Type 1: The Big Head a.k.a The Magical Mushroom

Well, this penis has a BIG ego and a head that appears to be thicker (and bigger) than the body of the penis.

Type 2: The Big Shaft a.k.a. The 1-liter water Bottle

Where the head of the penis is actually smaller making the penis ends in something of a point—like a fat banana or a water bottle!

Type 3: The Curve

Where the penis has a slight upward curve a.k.a a penis that appears like it’s way too hard. “There’s a suspensory ligament that holds your penis to your pelvis and it suspends your penis a little upward.”, Dr. Shusterman told BuzzFeed.

Type 4: The Bender

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