For a long time, women thought faking orgasms was something only they could do. It was a way to get out of a prolonged sexual interaction without hurting the guy’s feelings or having to admit that maybe you weren’t totally mentally present in that moment. However, if you thought faking orgasms was something only a woman could do, think again, because not only are men capable of it, they do it an awful lot. Multiple studies and sources have confirmed that over 20% of men have faked an orgasm before, and they do it for many of the same reasons that women do.While men don’t fake orgasms nearly as often as women do (most likely because men have to deal with certain… logistics to support it that women simply don’t), the fact that men do fake orgasms at times is interesting. This might be really shocking for those who believe that men are simply incapable of faking an orgasm, but believe it or not, it’s that attitude that often leads people to fake orgasms in the first place. Here’s everything you need to know about why guys fake orgasms, how they fake them, and how to open up the conversation so all parties involved in sex can have real orgasms.
You wouldn’t believe how many guys have faked an orgasm before. One 2004 poll out of ABC revealed that 11% of men had faked an orgasm. However, later numbers have proven that that number isn’t telling the whole story: a 2013 survey showed that 22% of men have faked orgasms and admitted to it. Considering the many, many men who probably have never admitted to doing this, these numbers could very well be a lot higher.
The numbers don’t seem especially high. It’s not like men are faking orgasms at a rate of 67%, which is the rough estimate of how often women will fake an orgasm. However, society at large tends to center sex around the male orgasm. Without that, did sex even actually occur?
Its that attitude that really doesn’t help things. The idea that all of sex revolves around the orgasm is a good reason why people fake it all the time. We buy into the idea that sex is only good if orgasms are had, and we end up lying to each other in order to maintain that idea, and the idea really isn’t a good one.
Men often fake an orgasm to spare their partner’s feelings. Women aren’t the only ones who are capable of faking an orgasm simply to inflate their partner’s ego. Many men find they fake orgasms specifically to spare their partner’s feelings. They’re afraid that admitting they can’t orgasm from that particular sexual encounter for whatever reason will just serve to make them feel bad.
Men get tired too. Men aren’t just horny sex machines who want sex 24/7. They’re human beings who are perfectly capable of getting tired. That tiredness will lead them to get out of a sexual encounter they’re too tired to have, just because they want to get to sleep.
Drunkenness is not good news for a man. Alcohol can solve some problems, but a problem alcohol definitely creates is crappy sexual encounters for guys. Alcohol inhibits a man’s ability to get an erection and keep it, not to mention the ability to orgasm, so when a man is simply too drunk to have an orgasm, he fakes one instead.
This happens a lot. One 2010 University of Kansas poll getting into faked orgasms found that of the 28% of men who admitted to faking an orgasm, 24% of them did it because they were simply drunk. This is in stark contrast to women, who’ve only faked orgasms because of drunkenness a whopping six percent of the time.
Some men actually are afraid they have a problem. This problem isn’t always sexual, although the worry men sometimes have about not being fertile is a thing that happens. Some men have trouble orgasming because of health problems, like duct blockages, or might be having reactions to certain medications like Prozac.
Men who are worried about health issues find faking orgasms to be the solution. Faking an orgasm isn’t a solution to their health issue, and they know it. However, faking that orgasm is a way for the man to potentially avoid a conversation they’re uncomfortable having with their partner about their health.
Sometimes an orgasm simply isn’t in the cards. It you’re a woman, doubtless you know how to feels to be in the middle of a sexual encounter, and then realizing that no matter what happens, an orgasm simply isn’t happening at all. Believe it or not, that’s something that can happen to guys too. They fake the orgasm because they know a real one isn’t happening and that way they can finish the encounter.
There are a few ways to tell if a man is faking. If you’re hearing sounds from your male partner that sound really different from what is body is doing, he’s probably faking. When in doubt, if he sounds like a very bad, very loud adult film star, you can reasonably assume that he’s faking.
If you know your partner well, you’ll know his faces. This is why a man who’s about to fake an orgasm might choose a position where you’re not looking at him, like doggy-style, where he’s behind you. This most definitely isn’t the only thing you should look out for, but if he’s faking, this would be the best decision to do it in because you’re not able to see what’s going on.
Note the orgasm itself. If it came out of nowhere, was had with almost no enthusiasm, and his behavior afterwards is out of character, there’s a good chance he faked an orgasm. Double points if he immediately goes to throw the condom away or there’s no fluids to be found at all.
If he’s faking it, it’s good and bad. A man faking his orgasm is good for you because it at least shows that he cares enough to fake his orgasm. However, it’s bad in the sense that on a fundamental level, something is off. It might just be a one off, sure, but it could also mean that on a basic level, he isn’t getting something he needs, and chances are, you’re not either.
The goal here is sex that’s honest. Honest sex is the sex that we really want to be having. The more honest we are, the better it is for everyone, especially when it comes to sex. While many of us have faked orgasms for our own reasons, we’ve also opened up communication with our partners about sex. If we opened up about why we sometimes fake orgasms, we might find that we have better sex, and then real orgasms can commence.
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