If you’re in a monogamous relationship, it’s often hard to keep things spicy. The most common issue people find is that they often feel like they’re in a rut with their partners, or that they feel like their partners no longer care about their pleasure. A new 30-day challenge is aiming to change that – and people are loving the results. Here’s how to do the “Selfless Sex” challenge and explore things with your partner on a whole new level.Would you be open to trying the “Selfless Sex” challenge with your partner? Did you ever try a sex challenge? Tell us how it worked out for you in the comments below.
The Selfless Sex Challenge is a challenge that is designed to help people learn about their partner’s needs, show appreciation, and also improve communication. And it’s all about focusing on your partner first – thus the “Selfless” part of the name. In order for this challenge to work, you both will need to work together.
First things first, you’re going to need to have a conversation about your sex life. Obviously, this is going to be about how you feel about your sex life. Is it dull? Do you wonder if there’s anything more you can do? Do you worry that you’re losing your spark a bit? Be honest, and get your partner on board.
Next, you’re going to need to lay down laws about your hard limits. Hard limits are the things you will NOT do under ANY circumstances. Write down the hard limits that you absolutely cannot tolerate. You might also want to explain why you don’t want to do them in writing.
The only things you cannot ask for are the things you listed as hard limits. So, if he refuses to do watersports under any circumstances, you can’t ask for it. He also can’t ask for anything that would make you have a hard limit. Swinging, cuckolding, and threesomes are hard limits because this is about the two of you.
Since this is a couples-only challenge, automatic hard limits should include threesomes and swinging. After all, if you’re doing this challenge to improve your overall relationship, it’s not a wise idea to throw other people into the mix because of how quickly things can go bad. In many cases, people may feel like it’s considered cheating.
After all this, you and your partner are going to have to agree to have sexual contact every day for 30 days… But just wait! There are more rules involved. And, there’s a schedule involved in this. Here’s how it works…
And, sexual contact is mandatory. It’s not really much of a challenge unless you’re doing things every single day. This also ensures that reciprocation happens, and that neither partner gets “short changed” by too many excuses to avoid touching one another.
At the end of each week, you need to review how your progress has been. Was there an act that made you feel uncomfortable? Was there something you feel you needed to talk to your spouse about? Now is the time to open up and just say what you enjoyed and what you didn’t.
First, rules first. You both will alternate on the “focal person” every other day. On your day, you have to ask your partner what he wants to do. If it’s just oral sex, give him a oral sex and focus on his pleasure only. Don’t ask for reciprocation on his days, because his day’s duty for you is to give him as much pleasure as he wants.
On his day, he reciprocates and asks you what you’d want to do. You can tell him any fantasy that has been going around in your mind, and if he wants to complete the challenge, he will have to make it happen. Dirty hotel room sex? Go for it. Cunnilingus for half an hour? Ask, and you shall receive.
And, additionally, you need to talk to your partner at the end of each week about fantasies you have yet to try out. Yes, we all have a lot of fantasies that we want to give a try out. Make a point of putting together a sexy bucket list, and buying supplied you’ll need for the upcoming week.
Sexual contact does not mean sex. So, if you don’t feel up for sex on your day, you don’t have to force yourself into requesting it. But, you do have to do something sexual. So, you may give him a blowjob. You may sext him. You may just spend 5 minutes sensually kissing him if that’s what he wants.
After every session you have, the partner that was pleasured has to compliment, praise, and cuddle up. After your turn, you did a lot of work to make sure that your partner is happy. Now is the time that your partner needs to show appreciation for the fact that you did put in work to make them feel good.
After 30 days, you’ll have learned a lot more about your partner and felt a lot more intimacy…if you completed the challenge. If you haven’t, the challenge may have shown you where the issues in the relationship lie. Perhaps you aren’t as compatible has you thought you were?
Sex challenges have done pretty well for many couples. And for others, it just didn’t pull through. Would you give this sex challenge a shot? Tell us what you’d do in the comments below.
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